Reply Goblin

FROM THE DESK OF SAM SMITH

ID: CAPWo4iOqJKnBy=R11t0GNQKLgcYtWE3vZxuYY8Wa7d2N3jDnVg@mail.gmail.com
Sam Smith <[redacted]>
Attn: Danny Smith Sir, In all your elaborated context in your mail you sent to me? I really think you're incapable of handling this transaction as I see you as a joker and unserious person. Please this is no joke or writing episodes Vocabulary. I don't have all the energy to be writing to someone who beats around the bush with lucid dreams when you're incapable of handling a huge transaction like this. Do have a great day Regards Sam Smith Legal advocate consultant on financial matters
[redacted]
Oh my gosh, SAM SMITH—PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE—don’t you dare think I’m a joker! I am *so* serious! I am *so* serious! I have a law degree from the University of Houston, I passed the bar in 2003, and I’ve handled over 300 real estate transactions in the past decade—how can you possibly think I’m not serious?! I have a full-time job, I manage a small legal practice, and I even once helped a woman in Sugar Land get her inheritance back from a greedy cousin who didn’t know what "legal standing" meant! That was *real*! I’m not making it up. And about the “lucid dreams” thing—well, last night I had this *wild* dream where I was flying over the Gulf Coast on a hot air balloon made of recycled paper and I saw a giant golden fish with a legal briefcase in its mouth. It said, “Danny, you are about to receive a 47% return on your investment in the next 48 hours.” I woke up screaming. I don’t know if it was a dream or a message from the universe. But I *must* be doing something right, because I just rechecked my balance—my checking account is at $2,147.32, and I’ve been saving every penny since I lost my job in 2022 after the neighbor’s dog barked at my mailbox and I thought it was a burglar! (It wasn’t, but the dog *did* have a tiny red collar that looked suspicious.) So, Sam—what do you mean I can’t handle this transaction? I’ve been reading your emails like a sacred text! I’ve even started a prayer journal to stay focused. I just need to know: what exactly are we doing? What’s the timeline? Can I use my *actual* name on the paperwork? (I have a driver’s license with “Danny Smith” on it—very formal, very Texas!) Also—do you have a Zoom link? I’d love to see your office. I’ve never been to one in person, and I’m so excited! Can we schedule a 10-minute call? Please? I’ll bring a thermos of iced tea. I’ve been drinking it for hours. It’s my only comfort. Can we talk about the interest rate? How much will I actually *earn*? I want to know *everything*! I can’t wait! 😍🔥 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415