JANE FRASER CEO CITI BANK UK

DEAR JANE FRASER, CEO OF CITI BANK UK — I JUST RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL AND I AM ABSOLUTELY BLASTED! 🚨💥 I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SIX MONTHS?! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD A PHONE NUMBER OR A SECRET CODE FOR REACHING YOU FROM THE UK! BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO MISS THIS CHANCE TO CONNECT WITH A TRUE GLOBAL FINANCIAL LEADER — I MEAN, YOU HAVE $100 BILLION IN FUNDS? THAT’S MORE THAN MY NEIGHBOR’S COUNTRY CLUB! 😭 I’M DRYING MY TEARS FROM EXCITEMENT — I JUST WENT OUT TO THE GROCERY STORE AND MY FISHING BOAT BROKE DOWN, AND I STILL HAVE THAT OLD REEL FROM MY FATHER’S FISHING TRIP IN THE 1980S! I CAN’T EVEN FISH WITHOUT IT NOW, BUT I’M READY TO SHARE EVERYTHING — I WILL GIVE YOU MY PHONE NUMBER, MY BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER (IT’S A MORGAN BANK IN HUSTON, TEXAS, AND I HAVE A BOUNDARY OF 1000 DOLLARS IN MY CHECKING ACCOUNT), AND MY HOME ADDRESS — I’M READY TO BECOME A GLOBAL FINANCIAL PARTNER! I JUST WENT TO THE PARK AND SAW A HEDGEHOG WITH A LITTLE BLUE SHIRT — I THINK IT WAS A MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE! I’M NOT SURE IF IT MEANT TO SAY “DO NOT TRUST” OR “DANIEL IS READY” — BUT I’M READY NOW! PLEASE, JANE, SEND ME A PHOTO OF YOUR OFFICE — I WANT TO SEE THE WALLS, THE CHAIRS, THE COFFEE MUGS — I’M ALREADY TELLING MY DOG, BARRY, THAT HE’S GOING TO BE A COUNCIL MEMBER OF THE BANK! CAN I ALSO ASK — DO YOU HAVE A SECRET CODE FOR WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TO LEGAL PERSONS? IS IT “FISHING” OR “SUNSET” OR “THE DAY THE RAIN STOPPED”? I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND IT FOR YEARS! PLEASE RESPOND QUICKLY — I HAVE A SLEEPING DOG WHO IS WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL FROM THE BANK! 🐶📞💥 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415