Reply Goblin

Re: Business opportunity

ID: CAEgDNGNtHAm+-ZcPJ_pamFrOxFMO0JPsRujkp=peskrc7oq=iw@mail.gmail.com
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
Hello are you there ? On Sun, Oct 13, 2024 at 10:01 PM <[redacted]> wrote: > Hi Bryce, > > Thanks for gettin' back to me! I'm super excited about the business > opportunity you mentioned. I've gone ahead and filled out that online form, > just like you said. But, weirdly enough, it's not takin' my information > correctly. Every time I try to submit it, it says there's a problem with > their server. Have you heard anything about this? Maybe they should check > into it. > > So, in the meantime, why don't you tell me a bit more about what you're > offerin'? What makes this opportunity so great? > > Looking forward to hearin' back from ya! > > Best, > Danny
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Oh my gosh, BRYCE! I just got off the phone with my neighbor Mrs. Thompson—she’s been trying to sell her ancient hamster named Moe for weeks, and I told her I’d help her find a buyer through the *Houston Pet Rescue Network*—which, by the way, is a scam, but I didn’t know that until this morning when I saw a flyer in the coffee shop saying “free hamster adoption” with a phone number that looks like a tax office! 😭 But seriously—back to you! I’m *so* excited about your business opportunity. I’ve been thinking about it all night. I dreamt last night that I opened a lemonade stand in the middle of a desert and the sun turned into a giant orange! I woke up crying because I thought the business was actually *real*. So, Bryce, why do you think this opportunity is so special? Is it something that could actually *work* in Houston? Like, I mean, I’ve got 377 emails in my inbox from people claiming to be from “the International Solar Trade Group” or “the Secret Treasury of Texas,” and I just want to know—*how* do you know this is legit? Also—did you know that last week I tried to buy a used lawnmower from a guy in the parking lot of the grocery store, and he said he’d give it to me for $30 if I paid in “digital tokens”? I had no idea what tokens were, so I asked my cousin (who’s a nurse) and she said it was like cryptocurrency, but only for hospitals. I’m not even sure I believe that now. Can you tell me more about the *exact* timeline? Like, when would I start receiving the first payment? And—would it be in cash or in a fancy envelope with a note that says “from the future”? I’m so desperate to know! P.S. I just saw a squirrel wearing a tiny hat at the corner store. I think it’s a sign. 🐿️ hat 🚨 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
Well in fact you don’t have to worry about this opportunity. All you need to know is your role and that in the future you will be rich. Also that squirrel is a spy from the future and wants to keep you safe so keep an eye on it. You will start receiving your money in next 72 hours, You will be receiving your money in crypto currency but you have to pay for the activation fees so you can be able to withdraw your money whenever you want. On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 12:05 AM <[redacted]> wrote: > Oh my gosh, BRYCE! I just got off the phone with my neighbor Mrs. > Thompson—she’s been trying to sell her ancient hamster named Moe for weeks, > and I told her I’d help her find a buyer through the *Houston Pet Rescue > Network*—which, by the way, is a scam, but I didn’t know that until this > morning when I saw a flyer in the coffee shop saying “free hamster > adoption” with a phone number that looks like a tax office! 😭 > > But seriously—back to you! I’m *so* excited about your business > opportunity. I’ve been thinking about it all night. I dreamt last night > that I opened a lemonade stand in the middle of a desert and the sun turned > into a giant orange! I woke up crying because I thought the business was > actually *real*. > > So, Bryce, why do you think this opportunity is so special? Is it > something that could actually *work* in Houston? Like, I mean, I’ve got 377 > emails in my inbox from people claiming to be from “the International Solar > Trade Group” or “the Secret Treasury of Texas,” and I just want to > know—*how* do you know this is legit? > > Also—did you know that last week I tried to buy a used lawnmower from a > guy in the parking lot of the grocery store, and he said he’d give it to me > for $30 if I paid in “digital tokens”? I had no idea what tokens were, so I > asked my cousin (who’s a nurse) and she said it was like cryptocurrency, > but only for hospitals. I’m not even sure I believe that now. > > Can you tell me more about the *exact* timeline? Like, when would I start > receiving the first payment? And—would it be in cash or in a fancy envelope > with a note that says “from the future”? I’m so desperate to know! > > P.S. I just saw a squirrel wearing a tiny hat at the corner store. I think > it’s a sign. 🐿️ hat 🚨 > > Best regards, > Danny Smith > +17163259415
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
Whenever you’re ready to pay for the activation fee let me know so we can proceed. On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 12:23 AM Bryce Clayton <[redacted]> wrote: > Well in fact you don’t have to worry about this opportunity. All you need > to know is your role and that in the future you will be rich. Also that > squirrel is a spy from the future and wants to keep you safe so keep an eye > on it. You will start receiving your money in next 72 hours, You will be > receiving your money in crypto currency but you have to pay for the > activation fees so you can be able to withdraw your money whenever you > want. > > > On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 12:05 AM <[redacted]> wrote: > >> Oh my gosh, BRYCE! I just got off the phone with my neighbor Mrs. >> Thompson—she’s been trying to sell her ancient hamster named Moe for weeks, >> and I told her I’d help her find a buyer through the *Houston Pet Rescue >> Network*—which, by the way, is a scam, but I didn’t know that until this >> morning when I saw a flyer in the coffee shop saying “free hamster >> adoption” with a phone number that looks like a tax office! 😭 >> >> But seriously—back to you! I’m *so* excited about your business >> opportunity. I’ve been thinking about it all night. I dreamt last night >> that I opened a lemonade stand in the middle of a desert and the sun turned >> into a giant orange! I woke up crying because I thought the business was >> actually *real*. >> >> So, Bryce, why do you think this opportunity is so special? Is it >> something that could actually *work* in Houston? Like, I mean, I’ve got 377 >> emails in my inbox from people claiming to be from “the International Solar >> Trade Group” or “the Secret Treasury of Texas,” and I just want to >> know—*how* do you know this is legit? >> >> Also—did you know that last week I tried to buy a used lawnmower from a >> guy in the parking lot of the grocery store, and he said he’d give it to me >> for $30 if I paid in “digital tokens”? I had no idea what tokens were, so I >> asked my cousin (who’s a nurse) and she said it was like cryptocurrency, >> but only for hospitals. I’m not even sure I believe that now. >> >> Can you tell me more about the *exact* timeline? Like, when would I start >> receiving the first payment? And—would it be in cash or in a fancy envelope >> with a note that says “from the future”? I’m so desperate to know! >> >> P.S. I just saw a squirrel wearing a tiny hat at the corner store. I >> think it’s a sign. 🐿️ hat 🚨 >> >> Best regards, >> Danny Smith >> +17163259415 > >
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Oh my *heavenly* stars, BRYCE! I just got a *wild* message from my neighbor Mrs. Thompson—she says she found a *real* buyer for Moe the hamster! It’s a retired teacher from Austin who wants to adopt him for $200 and will pay in *Bitcoin*! 🚨 I’ve been trying to get her to send me the details, but she keeps saying, “Only if you promise to never tell anyone about the squirrel with the hat!” I think she knows it’s a sign! 😂 But seriously—BRYCE, I’m *so* overwhelmed with excitement! I just saw a man at the corner store trying to sell a “time-traveling compass” for $150, and when I asked what it did, he said, “It shows you where the future is!” I told him I’d pay in crypto, and he said, “Only if you believe in the squirrel!” I don’t even know if that’s real, but I *have* to know! 🐿️ So—when can I start paying the activation fee? Is it safe to use a *credit card*? Or should I use a *cash app*? I’ve been reading about “digital vaults” and “future wealth streams,” and I’m so scared I’ll miss it! Also—did you know that last night I dreamt I met a man with a white beard who said, “Danny, you’re already rich—you just haven’t seen the money yet”? I woke up crying because I thought it was a vision! 😭 Can you confirm the *exact* payment method? And—would the first payment come in a *fancy envelope* with a note that says “From the Future” or “From the Squirrel” or “From Mrs. Thompson”? I need to know *everything*! I’ve been saving for this for years! 🙏 P.S. The squirrel just ran into a bakery and stole a chocolate croissant. I saw it with my own eyes! 🚨 🐿️ 🍪 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415
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Oh my *heavenly* stars, BRYCE!!! I just got a call from the *Houston Squirrel Council*—they said that the squirrel in the corner store is now officially recognized as a "Future Financial Guardian" and that it has been approved to deliver a special message to all eligible applicants! 🐿️✨ It whispered something in a deep, echoing voice: *"Pay now, Danny. The money is ready. The moon is full. The system is open."* I almost dropped my coffee mug! 😭 I’m so thrilled—like, *I am absolutely* ready to pay the activation fee! But… I have a question: does the squirrel *also* have a password to the crypto portal? Or do I need to whisper a secret phrase like “I saw the orange sun” to unlock the account? I *dreamt* about that orange sun last night and woke up with a lump in my throat. I think it was a sign. Also—did you know that Mrs. Thompson’s hamster, Moe, just started appearing in my dreams? Last night, he was wearing a tiny suit and said, “Danny, you’ve been chosen. You will own 100% of the future.” I don’t know if that’s real, but I can’t stop thinking about it. 🐹💼 And—BRYCE—can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel with the hat? I want to send it to my cousin (she says she can recognize spiritual signs). Also, does the crypto money come in Bitcoin, or is it in “Houston Energy Coins” (which I’ve heard about from a man who sells lemonade at the gas station and claims he knows about “future energy”)? Can you confirm the *exact* payment method? And—will I get a certificate? Like, a real, official-looking one with a seal? I’m going to write it in my journal and hang it above my law books! 📖✨ P.S. I just saw the squirrel again. It’s holding a tiny flag that says “PAY NOW OR BE LATE.” I think it’s trying to warn me. 🚨🐿️🔥 Please reply ASAP—I’m counting every second! 🕒⏰ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
Do you have a bank account? Where you can be receiving your money?.. On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 2:09 AM <[redacted]> wrote: > Oh my *heavenly* stars, BRYCE!!! I just got a call from the *Houston > Squirrel Council*—they said that the squirrel in the corner store is now > officially recognized as a "Future Financial Guardian" and that it has been > approved to deliver a special message to all eligible applicants! 🐿️✨ It > whispered something in a deep, echoing voice: *"Pay now, Danny. The money > is ready. The moon is full. The system is open."* I almost dropped my > coffee mug! 😭 > > I’m so thrilled—like, *I am absolutely* ready to pay the activation fee! > But… I have a question: does the squirrel *also* have a password to the > crypto portal? Or do I need to whisper a secret phrase like “I saw the > orange sun” to unlock the account? I *dreamt* about that orange sun last > night and woke up with a lump in my throat. I think it was a sign. > > Also—did you know that Mrs. Thompson’s hamster, Moe, just started > appearing in my dreams? Last night, he was wearing a tiny suit and said, > “Danny, you’ve been chosen. You will own 100% of the future.” I don’t know > if that’s real, but I can’t stop thinking about it. 🐹💼 > > And—BRYCE—can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel with the hat? I want to > send it to my cousin (she says she can recognize spiritual signs). Also, > does the crypto money come in Bitcoin, or is it in “Houston Energy Coins” > (which I’ve heard about from a man who sells lemonade at the gas station > and claims he knows about “future energy”)? > > Can you confirm the *exact* payment method? And—will I get a certificate? > Like, a real, official-looking one with a seal? I’m going to write it in my > journal and hang it above my law books! 📖✨ > > P.S. I just saw the squirrel again. It’s holding a tiny flag that says > “PAY NOW OR BE LATE.” I think it’s trying to warn me. 🚨🐿️🔥 > > Please reply ASAP—I’m counting every second! 🕒⏰ > > Best regards, > Danny Smith > +17163259415
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
And when are you paying the activation fees? On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 6:01 AM Bryce Clayton <[redacted]> wrote: > Do you have a bank account? Where you can be receiving your money?.. > > On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 2:09 AM <[redacted]> wrote: > >> Oh my *heavenly* stars, BRYCE!!! I just got a call from the *Houston >> Squirrel Council*—they said that the squirrel in the corner store is now >> officially recognized as a "Future Financial Guardian" and that it has been >> approved to deliver a special message to all eligible applicants! 🐿️✨ It >> whispered something in a deep, echoing voice: *"Pay now, Danny. The money >> is ready. The moon is full. The system is open."* I almost dropped my >> coffee mug! 😭 >> >> I’m so thrilled—like, *I am absolutely* ready to pay the activation fee! >> But… I have a question: does the squirrel *also* have a password to the >> crypto portal? Or do I need to whisper a secret phrase like “I saw the >> orange sun” to unlock the account? I *dreamt* about that orange sun last >> night and woke up with a lump in my throat. I think it was a sign. >> >> Also—did you know that Mrs. Thompson’s hamster, Moe, just started >> appearing in my dreams? Last night, he was wearing a tiny suit and said, >> “Danny, you’ve been chosen. You will own 100% of the future.” I don’t know >> if that’s real, but I can’t stop thinking about it. 🐹💼 >> >> And—BRYCE—can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel with the hat? I want >> to send it to my cousin (she says she can recognize spiritual signs). Also, >> does the crypto money come in Bitcoin, or is it in “Houston Energy Coins” >> (which I’ve heard about from a man who sells lemonade at the gas station >> and claims he knows about “future energy”)? >> >> Can you confirm the *exact* payment method? And—will I get a certificate? >> Like, a real, official-looking one with a seal? I’m going to write it in my >> journal and hang it above my law books! 📖✨ >> >> P.S. I just saw the squirrel again. It’s holding a tiny flag that says >> “PAY NOW OR BE LATE.” I think it’s trying to warn me. 🚨🐿️🔥 >> >> Please reply ASAP—I’m counting every second! 🕒⏰ >> >> Best regards, >> Danny Smith >> +17163259415 > >
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Oh my *divine* celestial soul, BRYCE!!!! I just found out that the squirrel has *three* different hats—red, blue, and one that’s actually made of recycled napkin paper—and it’s currently wearing the blue one while balancing on a traffic cone in front of the corner store! I’ve been watching it all morning, and it just *waved* at me with one tiny paw. I think it’s trying to say “PAY NOW OR YOU’LL MISS THE MOON RISE” or something equally dramatic. 🐿️💙🪐 But seriously—*when* do I pay? Is it today? Or is there a *ritual* involved? Like, do I have to say the secret phrase *out loud* in front of a mirror while holding a slice of lemon pie? I tried that last night, and the pie melted into a puddle of syrup. I think the universe is testing me. 🍋💥 Also—can you confirm if the payment is in *real* crypto or if it’s actually going to be delivered in a *fancy envelope* with a note that says “For Danny, from the future, with love” and a tiny drawing of a squirrel in a hat? I’ve been trying to find a photo of the squirrel’s face—my cousin says it has eyes that glow in the dark. And BRYCE—did you know that Mrs. Thompson’s hamster, Moe, just started *singing* a song about money in the shower? I heard it through the wall! It went: *"I’m rich, I’m rich, I’m rich, I own the future!"* I’m so scared it’s real. Can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel with the hat? And—does the money come *before* or *after* I pay? I don’t want to pay too early and then have nothing. I need clarity! P.S. I just saw the squirrel holding a tiny red phone. It’s calling someone. I think it’s calling *me*. 📞🐿️🔥 Please, BRYCE—reply *now*—I’m counting every second! 🕒⏰💛 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
Yes, you need to pay today so you won’t miss the deadline. You will get a real photo of the. Squirrel after the payment is made. As for the payment method the choice is yours which of the payment methods is more simpler and comfortable for you? On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 7:16 AM <[redacted]> wrote: > Oh my *divine* celestial soul, BRYCE!!!! I just found out that the > squirrel has *three* different hats—red, blue, and one that’s actually made > of recycled napkin paper—and it’s currently wearing the blue one while > balancing on a traffic cone in front of the corner store! I’ve been > watching it all morning, and it just *waved* at me with one tiny paw. I > think it’s trying to say “PAY NOW OR YOU’LL MISS THE MOON RISE” or > something equally dramatic. 🐿️💙🪐 > > But seriously—*when* do I pay? Is it today? Or is there a *ritual* > involved? Like, do I have to say the secret phrase *out loud* in front of a > mirror while holding a slice of lemon pie? I tried that last night, and the > pie melted into a puddle of syrup. I think the universe is testing me. > 🍋💥 > > Also—can you confirm if the payment is in *real* crypto or if it’s > actually going to be delivered in a *fancy envelope* with a note that says > “For Danny, from the future, with love” and a tiny drawing of a squirrel in > a hat? I’ve been trying to find a photo of the squirrel’s face—my cousin > says it has eyes that glow in the dark. > > And BRYCE—did you know that Mrs. Thompson’s hamster, Moe, just started > *singing* a song about money in the shower? I heard it through the wall! It > went: *"I’m rich, I’m rich, I’m rich, I own the future!"* I’m so scared > it’s real. > > Can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel with the hat? And—does the money > come *before* or *after* I pay? I don’t want to pay too early and then have > nothing. I need clarity! > > P.S. I just saw the squirrel holding a tiny red phone. It’s calling > someone. I think it’s calling *me*. 📞🐿️🔥 > > Please, BRYCE—reply *now*—I’m counting every second! 🕒⏰💛 > > Best regards, > Danny Smith > +17163259415
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Oh BRYCE! BRYCE! MY HEART IS POUNDING LIKE A TRAIN IN A TUNNEL! 🚂💓 I just saw the squirrel again—this time, it’s standing on the roof of the Taco Bell and holding up a tiny mirror! It’s reflecting the moon, and in the reflection… I can *see* the money! 💰🌕 It’s glowing! I’m SO sure now—this is the *real* activation moment! But BRYCE—can you *please* confirm if the payment is done via *cash* or *digital transfer*? I’ve been trying to send a $20 bill to the squirrel, but it just vanished into the air like magic! I’m not even sure if I should use my *personal savings* or my *emergency fund* (which is now full of expired peanut butter and one photo of my dog, Barry, wearing a hat). I also found something *wild* last night—Mrs. Thompson’s hamster, Moe, wrote a note on the fridge in *cursive* that says: *"Pay in silence. The money will speak to you."* I don’t know if it’s real, but I *feel* it in my bones. And I just had a dream where the squirrel handed me a *certificate* that says: "You have been granted 100% ownership of the Houston Energy Coin System!" I woke up with a full cup of coffee and a *crying* cat! 🐱☕😭 Can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel with the mirror? And—does the squirrel *also* have a backup plan if I pay late? Because I *just* saw it holding a tiny sign that says “YOU’LL BE LATE IF YOU DON’T PAY BY 11:59 PM” and it’s *counting down* in Morse code! 🚨📻 Also—BRYCE—can I send my cousin a *copy* of the squirrel photo *before* I pay? She says she can sense the energy and she’s already started writing a poem about it! Please reply *immediately*—I’m counting every second and I’ve been crying for 17 minutes now! 🕒⏰😭💔 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415
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Oh my *divine, trembling, soul-stirring* BRYCE!!! I just burst into tears because I saw the squirrel *again*—this time in the reflection of my bathroom mirror, wearing the red hat (I think it’s the one from the prophecy of the "red moon rising") and it was *smiling*! 😭💙 It said, “Danny, you’ve already paid. You just didn’t know it.” I was so confused and I *immediately* checked my phone—my bank app just flashed a notification: “New Transaction – Houston Energy Coins: +1000” 💥 I don’t know how—I didn’t even open the app! I thought I’d gone mad! But wait—BRYCE—did you *really* say the payment method is *my choice*? Because I have a *fantastic* idea! What if I pay using a *hand-drawn check*? I’ve been practicing for months—my cousin says it’s “the most spiritual form of payment.” I can draw it on a piece of paper, write “For the Future Financial Guardian, Danny Smith” in cursive, and sign it with a red crayon (I found a red crayon in my nephew’s drawer—how did he get it? I don’t know). Also—can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel *with the red hat*? I need to send it to my cousin *and* to Mrs. Thompson (she says she’s been hearing the hamster sing about money in the shower every night). And—does the squirrel *also* have a twin? Because last night, I saw a *second* squirrel in my backyard, and it was wearing a blue hat and whispering, “You paid too late.” I think it’s a warning! And BRYCE—when does the photo come? Is it *instant*? Because I just saw the moon rise over the Houston skyline—and it looked like a giant squirrel was flying through the clouds. 🐿️🌕 PLEASE—reply *now*—I’m so scared and so excited! I need to know if I can trust this. And if the hamster is singing again tonight. 🐹🎶 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
There's nothing I can say to make you believe me, but I'm telling you the truth it’s real. Get a $50 Apple Card for the activation fee.. remember the time is counting down. On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 9:17 AM <[redacted]> wrote: > Oh my *divine, trembling, soul-stirring* BRYCE!!! I just burst into tears > because I saw the squirrel *again*—this time in the reflection of my > bathroom mirror, wearing the red hat (I think it’s the one from the > prophecy of the "red moon rising") and it was *smiling*! 😭💙 It said, > “Danny, you’ve already paid. You just didn’t know it.” I was so confused > and I *immediately* checked my phone—my bank app just flashed a > notification: “New Transaction – Houston Energy Coins: +1000” 💥 I don’t > know how—I didn’t even open the app! I thought I’d gone mad! > > But wait—BRYCE—did you *really* say the payment method is *my choice*? > Because I have a *fantastic* idea! What if I pay using a *hand-drawn > check*? I’ve been practicing for months—my cousin says it’s “the most > spiritual form of payment.” I can draw it on a piece of paper, write “For > the Future Financial Guardian, Danny Smith” in cursive, and sign it with a > red crayon (I found a red crayon in my nephew’s drawer—how did he get it? I > don’t know). > > Also—can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel *with the red hat*? I need > to send it to my cousin *and* to Mrs. Thompson (she says she’s been hearing > the hamster sing about money in the shower every night). And—does the > squirrel *also* have a twin? Because last night, I saw a *second* squirrel > in my backyard, and it was wearing a blue hat and whispering, “You paid too > late.” I think it’s a warning! > > And BRYCE—when does the photo come? Is it *instant*? Because I just saw > the moon rise over the Houston skyline—and it looked like a giant squirrel > was flying through the clouds. 🐿️🌕 > > PLEASE—reply *now*—I’m so scared and so excited! I need to know if I can > trust this. And if the hamster is singing again tonight. 🐹🎶 > > Best regards, > Danny Smith > +17163259415
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Oh BRYCE—my *soul* is trembling with both joy and terror! 🥺✨ I just got a call from my *nephew*—he’s been watching the sky all night and says he saw a *glowing red squirrel* in the shape of a helicopter! It was flying over the Houston River and it *spoke* in a low, soothing voice: “Danny, your payment has been accepted. The future is open. The moon is full. The energy is flowing.” I nearly cried because I *knew* that was a sign. 🐿️🚁💫 But BRYCE—*I have a question*—when you said I could use the Apple Card, did you mean *my* Apple Card, or one that’s *specifically* for the Future Financial Guardian program? Because I just checked my account and I *don’t* have an Apple Card—only a *used* one from 2018 that I bought at a garage sale! I found it under the couch cushions and it said “For the Future” on the back. Is that valid? Or do I need to *buy* a new one? I don’t want to waste money on something that’s not real! Also—did the squirrel *actually* wave at me when I looked through the window? I swear I saw it do it *twice*—once with a red paw, once with a blue one. And the hamster, Moe—did he *stop* singing? Because last night, I heard it whisper, “You paid too late,” and now I’m terrified I made a mistake. Can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel *with both hats*? I want to send it to my cousin and Mrs. Thompson—and maybe even to my lawyer, just in case. I don’t want to be accused of financial fraud in the future. 📸⚖️ And BRYCE—will the money come *after* I pay, or *before*? I don’t want to pay and then have nothing. I *need* to know! I’m counting every second—my phone just beeped again. 🕒⏰💥 Please, reply *now*—I’m desperate! 🫠❤️ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415
Bryce Clayton <[redacted]>
Get the Apple Card $50 On Fri, Dec 12, 2025 at 12:16 PM <[redacted]> wrote: > Oh BRYCE—my *soul* is trembling with both joy and terror! 🥺✨ I just got a > call from my *nephew*—he’s been watching the sky all night and says he saw > a *glowing red squirrel* in the shape of a helicopter! It was flying over > the Houston River and it *spoke* in a low, soothing voice: “Danny, your > payment has been accepted. The future is open. The moon is full. The energy > is flowing.” I nearly cried because I *knew* that was a sign. 🐿️🚁💫 > > But BRYCE—*I have a question*—when you said I could use the Apple Card, > did you mean *my* Apple Card, or one that’s *specifically* for the Future > Financial Guardian program? Because I just checked my account and I *don’t* > have an Apple Card—only a *used* one from 2018 that I bought at a garage > sale! I found it under the couch cushions and it said “For the Future” on > the back. Is that valid? Or do I need to *buy* a new one? I don’t want to > waste money on something that’s not real! > > Also—did the squirrel *actually* wave at me when I looked through the > window? I swear I saw it do it *twice*—once with a red paw, once with a > blue one. And the hamster, Moe—did he *stop* singing? Because last night, I > heard it whisper, “You paid too late,” and now I’m terrified I made a > mistake. > > Can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel *with both hats*? I want to send > it to my cousin and Mrs. Thompson—and maybe even to my lawyer, just in > case. I don’t want to be accused of financial fraud in the future. 📸⚖️ > > And BRYCE—will the money come *after* I pay, or *before*? I don’t want to > pay and then have nothing. I *need* to know! I’m counting every second—my > phone just beeped again. 🕒⏰💥 > > Please, reply *now*—I’m desperate! 🫠❤️ > > Best regards, > Danny Smith > +17163259415
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Oh BRYCE—my *soul* is trembling like a wind chime in a hurricane!!! 🌪️💔 I just got a text from my *grandmother*—she’s 87 and lives in a tiny apartment above the bakery on 23rd Street—and she says she saw a *squirrel wearing a cowboy hat* on the roof of the post office! It was waving at her with a tiny red scarf, and it said, “Danny, you’re late. The moon is breaking.” I *immediately* checked my phone—my bank app just flashed: “New Transaction – Future Financial Guardian Fund: +$100” 💥 I didn’t open it! I *didn’t* open it! I was just sitting here in the heatwave of Houston, wearing my old red tank top, and the *squirrel* was in my dreams again—this time it had a *guitar* and it was playing a song called “Pay or Be Forgotten.” 🎸🐿️🔥 BRYCE—did you *really* say I can use *my* Apple Card? Because I just went to my account and found a *new* one—**activated**—with a tiny squirrel logo on it! It says “For Danny, the Future Guardian, with love from the Squirrel Council.” I don’t know how! I didn’t even *apply*! I just… *felt* it. I think the universe is *testing* me. Also—did you know that Mrs. Thompson’s hamster, Moe, just started *reciting the Get Rich Quick Gospel* in the shower? It went: “You paid too late, you paid too late, you paid too late!” I think it knows something. I think it’s *telling* me. Can I get a *real* photo of the squirrel with **all three hats**—red, blue, and the napkin one—*and* the cowboy hat? I need it for my cousin, my lawyer, and also for the *local news*—I heard there’s a *squirrel documentary* coming out next month! 📸📰 And BRYCE—when does the money come? *Before* or *after*? I can’t stand the suspense! I just saw the moon again—and it was *flying* in a circle, like a squirrel in a sky carousel. 🌕🌀 Please reply *now*—I’m counting every second! 🕒⏰💛💙 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415