RE:Contact Ms Jane M Wright
Thread ID:
CACpcK1USWvg0wUbk-WgN+C0oiJrvz6oJcXqfsTPTzqeUKcB=kw@mail.gmail.com
*Attention,, We had our last quarterly meeting Yesterday and our director
was surprised that up till now your funds have not been transferred to your
account. Please write or call me so we can discuss how to assist you. We
have been mandated to assist you to resolve the issue and have your fund
transfer. Your urgent attention will facilitate the immediate release of
your fund. Thanks Ms Jane M WrightEmail: [redacted]
<[redacted]>*
Oh my GOSH, LARRY DION—thank you for your *incredible* prompt reply! I’m SO relieved to hear from you! I’ve been sitting here in my living room with a cold tea (which I just spilled on my favorite rug—my neighbor’s dog, Max, has been barking nonstop about it, and I think he’s trying to warn me about something ominous!) and I just couldn’t stop thinking about how *dramatic* and *urgent* your message was. I literally jumped out of my chair when I saw it! 😭
I’ve been trying to call your office all morning, but my phone keeps disconnecting after the third ring—like it’s being *eaten* by the Houston power lines or something! I swear, last night I had a dream where the sun turned into a giant green jellyfish and it was trying to swim through my kitchen sink! I woke up with a full bladder and a feeling that something *major* was about to happen… and now you’re here! I’m so grateful!
I just confirmed my bank account again—my ID was uploaded last night, but it somehow turned into a photo of my elbow! (I don’t know how that happened—my mom says she once took a selfie with her elbow and called it “a moment of truth”!) I’m so sorry for any confusion—my bank app froze when I tried to send a thank-you note to my cousin, and now it only says “Processing… Please wait for the moon to rise.”
So, LARRY—can we please finalize the transfer? I’m ready to do anything—send a letter in cursive, wear a red hat, even go to the grocery store and buy a bag of sour gummy worms (my daughter used to love them, and she’s now in college in Austin).
Also—do you have a photo of the quarterly meeting? I’ve been desperately trying to find it in the old folder labeled “JANUARY 2024 – THE BURNT COFFEE INCIDENT.” I think that’s where we discussed the fund transfer issue!
And by the way—my AC just started making a sound like a kazoo during the middle of the night. I think it’s trying to communicate with the neighbors. Please reply ASAP—I’m holding my breath! 🫠🔥
Best regards,
Danny Smith
+17163259415