Re: Danny, Receive Christmas bonus

DEAR MR. IAN STUART, I AM SO OVER THE MOON TO HEAR THIS GOOD NEWS! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS! I JUST CAME HOME FROM MY DOG’S VETERINARIAN APPOINTMENT (HE HAS A NEW HAT — IT’S A FROG HAT — I’M NOT SURE IF HE’S HAPPY ABOUT IT), AND I WAS JUST THINKING, “WHAT IF MY ATM CARD IS A REAL ATM CARD?” I MEAN, HOW COOL IS THAT? I’VE NEVER HAD A PHYSICAL ATM CARD BEFORE — I ALWAYS USED MY PHONE TO CHECK BALANCE — BUT NOW I’M GONNA HAVE A REAL CARD! I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM MY NIECE IN DALLAS — SHE SAID SHE SEEN A POST ON A FLOWER SHOP ABOUT A “MIRACLE ATM” IN HUSTON! SHE SAID THE FLOWER SHOP OWNER WAS SLEEPING IN A FLOWER BED AND HE WOULDN’T EVEN ANSWER HIS PHONE! I THINK SHE’S TOLD MY STORY — I’M SURE SHE’S HAVING A FLOWER CANDLE BIRTHDAY PARTY NEXT WEEK! SO, MR. STUART — CAN I PAY THE $200 USING AN ITUNES CARD? I’M GOING TO BUY IT RIGHT NOW — I HAVE A BAG OF CANDY FROM THE MARKET AND I’M SURE I CAN FIND A PLACE TO BUY IT — I JUST NEED TO BE SURE THE RECEIPT HAS MY NAME AND THE DATE — I’M NOT SURE IF I CAN USE A PHONE TO SCAN IT — BUT I CAN TELL YOU, I HAVE A RED PHONE THAT’S BEEN IN MY MOTHER’S HOUSE SINCE 1987 — IT’S JUST A TINY PHONE — BUT IT WORKS — I USED IT TO CALL MY FATHER LAST WEEK — HE’S STILL IN THE HOSPITAL — HE’S GOT A NEW CAT NOW — HIS NAME IS MURPH! PLEASE CONFIRM — WHEN DO I SEND THE PHOTO? CAN I SEND IT RIGHT AFTER I BUY THE CARD? I’M SO EXCITED! DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF THE ATM CARD? I WANT TO SHOW MY NEIGHBOR, MR. BARTON, HE’S BEEN TALKING ABOUT BUYING A CAR — I THINK HE’S HOPING TO USE IT TO BUY A FLOWER SHOP TOO! AND ONE MORE THING — DO YOU KNOW IF THIS CARD WILL WORK WITH MY HOBBY OF PLAYING GOLF? I’VE BEEN TRYING TO BUY A GOLF CLUB FOR MONTHS — I JUST CAN’T AFFORD IT — BUT IF THIS CARD HAS MONEY — I CAN BUY A CLUB AND TELL MY FATHER HE’S GOT A NEW CAT — AND HE CAN USE IT TO PLAY GOLF! PLEASE WRITE BACK IMMEDIATELY! I’M READY! I’M READY! I’M READY! ✨✨✨ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415