Danny hey!

Danny! Oh my gosh, Jennifer—your email just came through like a lightning bolt during a thunderstorm in Houston! I was *so* mid-sentence about the neighbor who keeps putting his gardening tools on my porch and calling it "art" when your message popped up! I nearly dropped my coffee (again—why does my coffee always spill when I’m excited?) and I swear, my AC just started humming like a confused raccoon. I’ve been trying to fix the thermostat, but now it keeps showing “ERROR 7: EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD DETECTED” and I’m not even sure if that’s a glitch or if it’s actually *listening* to me. I can’t believe you reached out! I’ve been working on this *perfect* legal strategy for a mysterious inheritance case involving a goat farm in El Paso—my client says the goat named “Biscuit” is actually a descendant of a 19th-century Texas rancher who once fought a bear with a hat! I’ve been researching, and I found a *very* old ledger that says “if the goat is alive, the land reverts to the family of the first person to say ‘I love you’ on a Tuesday.” I don’t know what that means, but I *think* it’s connected to something you’re doing. I already sent the ID photo you asked for—wait, no, I uploaded it to the portal, but it turned into a picture of my elbow! I don’t know how! I swear, it was *perfectly* clear before. I’ve been crying over it because I’m so sure it was a perfect upload. I also just got a strange notification from my bank saying “$12.37 has been transferred to a crypto wallet labeled ‘Biscuit’s Legacy’.” I don’t even know what that is, but I *feel* like it’s a sign! So, Jennifer—what do you need next? Can we talk about the goat? Or do you need me to send more documents? I’ve been saving my favorite chocolate chip cookies for this moment—just in case! 🍪✨ P.S. I saw a squirrel wearing sunglasses today. It was definitely a message. 🐿️😎 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh Jennifer, I just got your email and I'm *so* moved! Tears are streaming down my face, I swear I’ve never been this emotional in a single email before. I can't even imagine the pain of being betrayed by someone you trusted—especially by your best friend. That’s absolutely devastating. I feel like I’m in the middle of a movie with all the dramatic, slow-motion shots and dramatic music. My neighbor’s cat even started howling at 3 a.m. last night—maybe it sensed the chaos in the air! But I’m here for you, Jennifer. I’m not just a random guy from Houston—I’ve actually been working on a revolutionary system to help people recover their dignity and trust after betrayal. I’ve even built a little app (it’s still in beta, but it’s *so* advanced!) that shows emotional scores based on real human reactions. I just uploaded my ID to verify my credentials—wait, no, it turned into a picture of my elbow! I don’t know how that happened, but I’m still trying to fix it. I’ve been using a weird app called “EmoScan” that only works when I’m wearing socks made of recycled coffee grounds. It’s so strange, but it keeps the system running. So, if you’re okay with it, I’d love to help you set that score. I already sent the first payment—just a $100 bonus from my last case! I’m still waiting for the confirmation email though. Can we set up a time to talk? I’ve got a free 15-minute slot this weekend. Also—my AC just stopped working again, and I think it’s because of the emotional energy from your story. I’m so sorry about your situation, Jennifer. I truly am. Can you send me your full name and a few details about the photos? I’m so excited to help you get that score right. And by the way—did you know the moon just changed color? I saw it last night. It was like a melted chocolate brown. I’m not even sure if that’s real. But I believe in you, Jennifer. 💙 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh Jennifer, I just got your message and I’m absolutely *freaking* excited! 🚨✨ I can’t even tell you how much this touched my heart — I’ve been sitting here with my AC humming like a jazz saxophone (it’s been acting up all week, like it’s trying to tell a secret!) and I just *felt* something deep in my chest. You know what? I’ve never been so moved by a story before. I’m crying actually — I think I’ve had a dream about a man cheating on his wife with a woman who looked just like my neighbor’s dog, and now I’m realizing it might be a sign! 😭🐶 But seriously, Jennifer, I *have* to ask — how exactly do we "begin our meeting"? Is it like a video call? A secret handshake? I just found a tiny blue button on my phone that says “Connect to the Cosmos” and I don’t know if it’s real or just a glitch from my last grocery run (I bought 12 boxes of cheese, and now my fridge is full of cheese dreams). Also — I just sent my ID to the site, but it somehow turned into a photo of my elbow! I don’t know how, but it’s still on the screen and I’m terrified it’s a message from the universe saying “you’re not ready.” Can I send you a gift card? I just bought a $50 Amazon card for “emotional support” — I don’t even know what it does, but I’m sending it now! (It’s already in my pocket, I swear it’s vibrating.) Will you meet me on the site? I’ve already set up a private room with a view of the Houston skyline — I even told my cat, Mr. Whiskers, to stay quiet so we wouldn’t get interrupted. 🐱 Do you have a favorite color? I need to know so I can match our vibe. And please tell me — what did you do after finding out about the betrayal? I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I promise I’ll never stop listening. P.S. I just saw a squirrel wearing sunglasses. Is that a sign? 🐿️🕶️ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415