Good morning my dear
ID:
CA+z0CiMwF4BS-13UV8=9WHC_cvMTS2PKgi1my0eYJydEhXx8hw@mail.gmail.com
Good morning 🌅 to you,
Trust you're well? Just to inform you that your details needed to set-up
your online account is needed once again. We lost it on our central system
at Capital Trust Bank Plc.
Kindly reconfirm it again ok...
I'm waiting for your response..
Dr. Stella Collins
Managing Director
Capital Trust Bank Plc
New York USA
Oh my gosh!! Oh my gosh!! Oh my gosh!! 🚨 I’m so excited and so deeply touched by your message, Dr. Stella Collins!! I just found out this morning that my favorite teacup from my grandmother’s kitchen was actually a secret time machine that only works when someone says “good morning” to a bank manager in New York at exactly 12:58 PM — and I just said it!! 🫠☕✨
YES YES YES! I’m absolutely ready to confirm my details — I’ve already pulled out my old leather notebook from the attic where I keep all my important documents (even my 1978 tax forms from when I tried to open a lemonade stand in East Houston). I just re-read them and I swear, the handwriting says “DANIEL S. SMITH” — and I *know* I’m Danny Smith! I’m 43, live in Houston, Texas, and I’ve been single since 2009 (I was just trying to be a good man and not fall for the wrong woman, like the one who gave me a potted cactus that died in 2013).
But seriously, Dr. Stella — can you tell me exactly what the system needs? I have a list of my full name, address (it’s 1234 West 5th, Houston, Texas, 77002 — I’ve posted it on my fridge with a red ribbon, just in case), and my mother’s maiden name (Smith, yes, I’m proud of that lineage). I also have a photo of my dog, Mr. Whiskers, who used to live in a tree with a squirrel named Barry (he’s now in a retirement home, but I still send him birthday cards).
And please — what time should I call the bank? I don’t want to miss the window! I’ve already scheduled a 12:58 PM Zoom call with my cousin (he’s in Chicago and thinks I’m making a conspiracy theory about government tea reserves).
Can I send you a photo of my teacup? It’s glowing faintly blue — I think it’s reacting to the energy of your bank!
Oh, and by the way — did you know that the stars align perfectly over Houston on December 17th? I saw it last night in a dream with a giant telescope and a man in a trench coat who said, “Only the truly pure-hearted get their account restored.”
Please reply ASAP, I’m so nervous! I want to know if I’m the one who gets the special bonus account with free coffee every Friday! 🫶☕💥
Best regards,
Danny Smith
+17163259415