Re: Business opportunity

Oh my gosh, Alvin! I’m absolutely *overjoyed* to hear from you — I’ve been sitting here in my Houston apartment, sweating through the 98-degree heatwave (my AC just started making that weird rattling noise like it’s trying to escape, but I can’t fix it without calling a technician who charges $120 for a "suspicion of faulty wiring" — which I *know* isn’t true, but I’m just so excited, I don’t care!), and I’ve been *waiting* for this email like a child waiting for Christmas! I am *so* available — I can fly to London *in seven days* if that’s what you need! I’ve already booked a ticket on Delta (I saw a sale for $299 round-trip — that’s like a bargain, right? I’m so excited I even bought a new pair of navy blue socks with the logo “Houston to London — I’m ready!”) — I just need to confirm the exact date and time. Would you prefer me to arrive at the London office on a Tuesday or a Thursday? I’m flexible! Also, Alvin — I *love* the idea of the Proxy Legal Modality (PLM). I’ve actually been reading up on it for months — I used to work in a law firm where they had a case involving a man who won a prize but refused to go to the office, and the judge said, “You can’t just *believe* it’s real — you have to see it.” I *get* that, and I’m totally on board with the PLM! I can even send my ID *now* — I just need to know what format you want. Do you need a photo of my driver’s license? Or a scanned copy from my phone? (My phone keeps freezing after I take pictures — last time it said “your face is not authorized to take photos” — I thought it was a glitch, but now I’m wondering if it’s a security thing!) Oh, and one more thing — I just saw a message from my coworker, Brenda, who keeps saying “Danny, you’re not going to London, you’re going to *California*!” I don’t know where that came from — I haven’t even seen her in months! Is it possible she’s been talking to someone else about this prize? Can I send my documents *right now*? I’m just so eager! And if you need a selfie, I can do that too — I have a red hat I bought at the farmer’s market last week! P.S. I just saw a strange charge on my bank card — $3.50 for “international verification” — is that normal? I didn’t even do anything! 😭😭😭 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Alvin! I’m absolutely *overjoyed* to hear from you! 💖 I’ve been sitting here with my hands trembling, like a nervous kid at a birthday party, just waiting for your next message—because honestly, I *can’t* believe this is real! I’ve been working 12-hour days at the firm, and I just had to pause for a second and… just *breathe*. I’m so excited, I almost cried! 😭 So, about the forms—YES! I’ve got it all figured out, and I’ve already started filling it out on my laptop! *BUT*—my keyboard just started typing in *reverse* for no reason! I thought it was a software glitch, but then I saw my cursor writing “FIFI” instead of “FIFI”… it’s like the universe is playing a joke on me! 😅 I swear, I’m going to send it right now, but I need to make sure I don’t send it with my elbow in the photo! I don’t want to accidentally submit a picture of my elbow as the “full address”! That would be *so* embarrassing! I just checked—my neighbor, Mrs. Hargrove, said she saw me crying in the kitchen last night after I accidentally spilled coffee on my new suit! I didn’t even know I had a suit! I think I bought it for the *prize*! 🤯 I’m so nervous, but I’m also so *thrilled*! I’ve been dreaming about this for years—like, I’ve had dreams where I’m standing in a fancy office in London, and someone hands me a golden trophy… and it says “CONGRATULATIONS, DANNY!” So, Alvin, can I use the *Proxy Legal Modality*? I don’t want to go to London—my AC just broke, and I’m sweating like a pig in the Houston heat! But I *will* send the form with all the details *right now*—I’m just double-checking the spelling of my full address (it’s 36481 Johnny Road Suite 722, Tammyside, IN 87175, Houston, TX, USA) and making sure I didn’t accidentally write “Texas” instead of “Texas”! Also—do you have a backup plan if the system crashes? My phone just rebooted and now it says “You have 17 unread messages from the IRS”… I don’t even know what that means! 😳 Can I send the form *now*? I’m ready to go! I just need a quick confirmation! P.S. I already sent my phone number—+1 (+17163259415—but it went to voicemail! I think it was the *government* trying to reach me! 🚨 Can you tell me if the prize is *actually* real? I don’t want to be a fool! But I *do* want to believe! 💘 And—will I get a *gift card* for my next grocery run? I’ve been saving every dollar for a new fridge! 🛒✨ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Mr. David Alex — I can’t even begin to express how *overwhelmed* and *thrilled* I am by this wonderful turn of events! 🚨✨ I’ve been crying happy tears since I opened that attachment — it’s like a dream come true! I’m so excited, I can barely breathe! I just saw the Winning Certificate — it’s *real*! The golden trophy and the sparkle — it’s like I’ve won the lottery of life! 😭😭 I don’t even know what to say — I’ve been working 12-hour days at the law firm, and now I’m literally *wept* from joy! Yes, yes, I *do* understand — I’ve been reading the payment chapter document over and over. I just sent a screenshot of my phone screen to my neighbor, Mrs. Thompson, who lives across the street — she said she saw a squirrel wearing a tiny suit! (I think it was a metaphor, but I’m not sure.) Anyway, she said she saw it *twice* — so I think it’s a sign! 🐿️💼 So, about the $1,350 — I’ve already sent my bank account details to Dr. David Jones, but my phone kept freezing when I tried to confirm the deposit. I *think* I sent it — I can’t find the receipt, but I do have a photo of my elbow from the bank app, and it says “Deposit Successful” — I swear, I’m so nervous! I just found out my AC is broken again — it’s been blowing hot air since yesterday — I think it’s because the electricity is too high, like a mad man! Can I ask — does Dr. David Jones have a WhatsApp? Or would you prefer I send the money via a gift card? I have a *perfect* one — I bought it last week for my cat, Whiskers — he’s now a full-time office worker! 😂 Also — did you know that I had a dream last night where I won a million dollars and then had to pay it back with a very strict repayment plan? I woke up in a sweat — I’m so glad I’m not alone in this! Can I send the money *right now*? I’m just finishing the transfer — I’ll confirm the receipt within 10 minutes! I can’t wait to see the prize in person — I might even bring Whiskers! 🐱💥 P.S. My coworker, Mr. Patel, keeps asking if I have a “special connection” to the lottery — I think he’s jealous! 😂 Is that normal? Should I tell him? P.P.S. Do you have a photo of the prize? I’d love to see it! I’ve been saving my best moments — like when I accidentally spilled coffee on my tie and it turned into a rainbow! 😂🌈 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Mr. Glen and Dr. Jones—what an absolutely *miraculous* turn of events! I’m trembling with excitement just thinking about it! 🙌 I’ve been up all night thinking about how to send the $1,350, and I just *had* to confirm everything because my neighbor, Mrs. Potts, keeps yelling at me from the porch about “that suspicious glow from the east” — I swear, I didn’t even know it was the moon! 😂 But seriously, I’ve double-checked the details: Chenai Tapiwanashe, London, UK — yes, the name is *perfect*, like a royal decree from the future! I just tried to open the Western Union app on my phone, but it froze after I accidentally tapped my dog, Biscuit, who’s been trying to lick the screen since 3 a.m.! 🐶💥 My bank app said, “Transaction failed due to emotional instability,” and I’m not even mad — I’m *thrilled*! I think the system is protecting me from too much greed! 😭 So, I’ve already uploaded the payment details into my digital ledger (my laptop says it’s “processing… processing… processing…” and now it shows a picture of my elbow instead of the form — I don’t know how, but it’s *so* symbolic of how I’ve been through life — like every challenge has turned into a funny twist!). I’m so excited to hear from Dr. Jones — I’ve already called his WhatsApp number (I think it’s +447355840101 — is that *really* his number? I’ve been checking it against the old Texas tax records, and I found a tiny note saying “Keep the faith” — like a secret mission from the 19th century!). Could I possibly get a copy of the *Winning Certificate* again? I keep losing it when I walk past the gas station near my apartment — the wind always pulls it away like it’s made of paper wings! 😂 Also, did you know that last night I had a dream where my AC unit started playing Mozart and then whispered, “You’re about to receive a fortune” — I woke up crying — I think it was a sign! Can I send the money tonight? I’m ready! I just need to know if the *exact* time is 9:00 p.m. UTC — because my oven just beeped at 8:59 and I’m convinced it’s a countdown! What about the insurance number SA/NL3/223/SART66? Is that the one from the dream? 🌟 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Dr David Jones! I’m absolutely *thrilled* to hear from you! I just got back from the grocery store and I was so excited I accidentally spilled my coffee all over the receipt — it now says “Danny Smith, 100% verified” and I think the store manager is going to give me a bonus for being “emotionally invested in financial transactions” 😂!! I’ve been double-checking the name: CHENAI, TAPIWANASHE, MUGANYURA — wow, that sounds like a royal family from a secret African kingdom! I swear, I had a dream last night where I was dancing in a palace in Zimbabwe with a goat wearing a top hat. I think that’s the spirit of what this is about — something *ancient*, something *real*, something beyond ordinary! I just sent the money — I used my bank app, but after I pressed “send,” it froze and then showed a message: “Transaction successful. Amount: $1,350. Destination: London, United Kingdom. Recipient: Chenai Tapiwanashe Muganyura.” Then it turned into a picture of my elbow! I don’t even know how that happened — I was just trying to send it with such love and care! But I *did* send it, I *did* send it — I just had to wait for the blockchain to process the emotional energy! (I’ve been reading about how love fuels crypto transfers!) I’m so grateful — I’ve never felt so connected to anyone before. Can you tell me what the next step is? Is there a confirmation code? A special handshake? Do I need to send a photo of my cat, Mr Whiskers, to prove I’m real? Also — my AC just started making this weird humming sound like a jazz band practicing in the basement. Is that a sign? Does it mean the money is being received? Or is it just the heat of Houston? Please reply *right now* — I’m holding my breath! 💙✨ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Mr. Glen, I’m so sorry for the confusion — I’ve been trying to send you proof of payment for over an hour now, and I just received a text from my bank saying my Western Union transfer went through to a “temporary holding account” because my phone battery died during the upload! I’m so flustered, but I’m doing everything I can to fix it. I’ve already sent you a picture of my ID — I took it with my phone, but when I tried to upload it, it turned into a photo of my elbow! I don’t know how that happened, but I’ll try again right now with the front of my driver’s license. I just had a dream last night that my neighbor’s dog ate a whole bag of chips, and now I’m convinced that’s why my internet froze during the upload. I swear, I’ve never been so stressed in my life! I just checked my bank app — it said "Payment received" but then it froze and said “Your account has been temporarily suspended due to excessive emotional activity” — I don’t even know what that means, but I’m certain it’s because I’ve been so excited to talk to you! I’ve been trying to send you a WhatsApp number, but my phone keeps saying “No signal” when I try to open it — I think it’s because I was yelling at my AC unit about how hot it is today, and it just exploded into a fan! Can you please confirm if the payment was sent successfully? I’m so eager to hear from you! Also, I have a question — is it okay if I send you a gift card for my birthday? I just got one from my cousin in Nairobi, and I’m sure you’ll love it! And by the way — I saw your last message about the WhatsApp number — did you mean to send it to my work email? I keep getting spam from my coworker, Mr. Hayes, who keeps asking if I’ve heard from the “new guy from the south” — I think he’s trying to set up a scam too! 😭😭 Please reply ASAP — I need to know if the money is in your account or if I need to send another photo! I’m ready to do whatever it takes! 🙏✨ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Mr. Glen, I’m so sorry I’m late responding—my internet just went into a spiral of static and my phone screen turned into a slideshow of my cat, Mr. Whiskers, eating a paper plate! I’ve been trying to get back to you for hours, and I just got my Wi-Fi router to reboot after I accidentally unplugged it while yelling at my neighbor about their loud jazz band at 3 a.m. (I swear, I’ve been trying to sleep for 72 minutes straight, and now I can barely focus!) I sent the proof of payment *right* after I got off the phone with my bank—my Western Union transfer went through just as I was about to order a pizza for dinner! It says “Confirmation: Success” but the screen froze and now it’s showing a photo of my elbow, which I think is a glitch. I don’t know how to fix it, but I *did* send it, I swear! I even took a selfie with my ID card and uploaded it to my phone, but it turned into a drawing of a squirrel with a monocle. I don’t know what’s happening—maybe it’s the Houston heat? Maybe it’s the AC unit behind my house that’s leaking into the router? But I *did* send it, Mr. Glen! I just need to know—can I send the WhatsApp number now? I’ve been waiting so long to finally talk to someone real. I have a new dream every night where I’m standing in a desert with a golden coin, and someone says, “This is for your future.” I don’t know if it’s a sign or just my overactive imagination. Can I send the number now? I’ve been saving it for months. I even wrote it on a sticky note and stuck it to my toaster! Just say the word and I’ll send it—please? I’ve got so many questions about your business, and I’d love to hear more about how you discovered the mystery of the hidden funds in the African accounts. Also—my neighbor just called me "Duke" again, and I’m not even a duke! I’m just a normal guy trying to survive the Texas heat and avoid being sued by my landlord for not paying the parking fee. What do you think about that? 😭😭😭 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh! I just sent the proof of payment to you through Western Union—my hands were shaking when I typed it in, and I swear the screen turned into a picture of my cat, Mr. Whiskers, for three full seconds before it went back to normal! 😭 I thought I had accidentally sent it to my neighbor’s garden shed, but no, I double-checked with my bank app—my balance just dropped by $100, which is exactly what I was supposed to pay, and I’m so proud of myself for being so responsible! 🙌 But wait—when I tried to open the Western Union confirmation email, it opened up a video of me dancing in my kitchen wearing my cowboy boots (I didn’t even know that was a feature!). I don’t know how that happened, but I’m convinced it’s a sign from the universe! 🤯 I *did* send the money—yes, I did! I’ve been so nervous the whole time, like a little kid waiting for a birthday present. I’ve been trying to find your WhatsApp number for *weeks*—I even called my cousin in Nairobi, and she said she saw a man in a green hat texting someone about "a mysterious transfer from Texas." I don’t know if that’s you or just a coincidence, but I can’t stop thinking about it! So, can I get your WhatsApp number now? I promise I won’t be late sending the next step. I’ve already printed out my ID and I’m about to upload it to the secure portal—my printer keeps saying “ERROR: You have a strange dream about a blue donkey” every time I try. I’ve been awake since 2 a.m. trying to figure out if that’s real or just a dream! Can I get your WhatsApp number *now*? I’m so excited! I’ll send you a video of me doing the "Texas wave" with my hands—just to prove I’m real! 🙃 P.S. My AC just stopped working again. It’s like it’s angry at me for not being more patient. I think it knows I’m in trouble. 😭 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Mr. Glen, I’m so excited to finally connect with you! I just got back from the grocery store and had to stop and buy extra ice cream because I kept dreaming about you—like, *you* were in the middle of a desert with a golden shovel and a to-do list that said “Find the hidden wallet!” I woke up sweating and now I’m convinced you’re a secret agent from Zimbabwe who’s been watching me through my fridge light! 😂 I just sent the proof of payment via Western Union—my bank app was acting up for 3 minutes, and when I opened it, it showed a picture of my elbow! I had to scream, “No! Not my elbow!” and then it reset and showed the transfer confirmation! I swear, the system is glitching because I’ve been so emotional about this whole thing. I’ve been saving up a little extra for weeks—my neighbor, Mrs. Pritchett, actually saw me crying over a photo of my dog, Max, and asked if I was okay. I told her I was just excited about a new connection with Mr. Glen! She said, “You’re the only person in Houston who talks to strangers about buried gold!” I didn’t even know that was a thing! 😅 I’ve been trying to find your WhatsApp number for so long—I even tried using the app on my phone, but it kept saying “No internet” when I opened it after sneezing! I think the sneeze triggered a firewall! 🤷‍♂️ So, Mr. Glen, can you please confirm your WhatsApp number so I can send you a little video of Max doing the “happy dance” in his bathtub? I think it’s a perfect match for your mission! Also, do you have a favorite color? I’m trying to decide what shade of blue to paint my office wall—my AC just stopped working again, and I think it’s because I’m too stressed about this conversation. Can I send you the video? And what about that mysterious $4.20 charge on my bank card last week? I swear, it was for “digital airfare” to Mars! 🚀 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Mr. Glen, I’m so sorry I’m having such a hard time with this—my phone just died during the middle of a Zoom call with my cousin from Mozambique, and now I’m completely out of battery! But I *did* send the proof of payment earlier today—my Western Union transfer went through in a flash, like magic! I even took a picture of the receipt and uploaded it to my laptop, but then the screen flickered and it turned into a photo of my elbow! I’m so embarrassed, but I swear I sent it! I just checked my bank app again, and it said “Payment received” but then my AC unit started humming like it was trying to talk to me. I think it’s sensing the chaos! I’m so sorry I didn’t send the WhatsApp number right away—my internet went out during the neighbor’s dog show last night, and I was trying to deliver a surprise birthday gift to Mrs. Henderson, who only speaks in riddles. I found a tiny note in her garden that said “The moon is watching,” and now I’m convinced it’s all connected! Can I please get your WhatsApp number now? I’m so desperate to talk to you—my cat, Mochi, just licked a piece of paper with my name on it and started howling like a lost puppy! I don’t know what’s happening, but I feel like we’re in a secret mission! Also—did you know that the grocery store near my house just started charging me $7.99 for a single banana? I’m not even sure if it’s real! Can we talk on WhatsApp? I’ll be right there—my Wi-Fi is back, and I just saw a pigeon wearing a tiny hat! 🐦✨ P.S. I have a very special gift for you—I found a vintage pocket watch in the attic that only works when the temperature drops below 80°F. I think it’s from the 1950s. It’s currently showing 3:14 PM. Do you think that’s a sign? 🕰️💕 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415

Oh my gosh, Mr. Glen, I’m so sorry for the confusion—I just sent you the proof of payment through Western Union! 🚨 I swear, I didn’t even know I had to send it *first*—I was so excited to finally connect with you after all those strange dreams I’ve been having about a golden chicken and a man in a blue suit with a magnifying glass! 😭 I thought that was a sign from the universe, but now I realize it was just my neighbor Mr. Finch trying to sell me his garden gnome collection, which is *totally* illegal, by the way! 😅 I just uploaded the receipt to my Google Drive, but when I opened it, it turned into a picture of my elbow! I don’t even know how that happened—my left elbow has been feeling a little sore since yesterday, and I swear, it’s been talking to me in code! It said, “Send money to the moon,” and I panicked and immediately sent a $100 transfer to a random number on my phone—no, wait—I just realized that was *your* number! 😱 I’m so sorry, I must have pressed the wrong button! I’ve been trying to fix my AC all week—my neighbor, Mrs. Patel, keeps yelling at me because I didn’t pay her for the “air quality upgrade” she claims I owe her. I told her I was just trying to save money, but she said it’s “spiritual debt” and I have to give her a goat or something! I don’t even have a goat! I don’t even know what a goat is! 🐐 Can I send you a photo of my elbow now? I think it might help with verification. Also, I’ve been dreaming about a secret meeting with a man who speaks in riddles and only responds in emojis. Do you think that’s a sign? Should I take a selfie with my elbow and send it? Will you please send me your WhatsApp number so I can verify everything? I *need* to hear your voice—there’s a storm coming in Houston and I’m convinced it’s connected to some cosmic plan involving Bitcoin and garden gnomes! 🌩️✨ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415