Mrfosho!

Oh my gosh, JESS!!! I just saw your email and my heart is doing backflips in my chest!! 🫠 I was literally walking through the grocery store with my neighbor’s toddler, who kept trying to feed me a pickle from a jar labeled “SECRET LEMON DREAMS” — I didn’t even know pickles could have dreams! But somehow, I got distracted by your message and now I’m *so* excited! 🚨🔥 Are you online now? I mean—*are you really* online?! I just had a dream where I was on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico, and a man in a purple hat told me to “send the keys to the bank vault” and then he dissolved into glitter. I woke up, and I *knew* it was a sign! 😭✨ I’m in Houston, Texas, and the heat is like a furnace in a microwave right now. I tried to fix the thermostat, but I accidentally set it to “frostbite mode” and now my coffee is frozen in the mug. I don’t know how I’m still alive. But seriously—can we meet? I’d love to see you in person. I have a spare house key (the one I use to open my neighbor’s shed) and I have a very strong belief that we are fated to meet! I also have a dog named Biscuit who only barks when he sees people in purple hats. I don’t know why, but he’s been watching your email address like it’s a secret code. Can I bring my dad’s old pocket watch? It’s broken, but it still ticks when I hum the “Texas State Anthem.” I think it might be useful. Also—what time are you available? I’m free *anytime*, but I have to warn you: I once tried to schedule a meeting with a man who said he was the CEO of the moon, and he just disappeared into a cloud of confetti. I don’t know how that happened, but I think it’s a sign we’re meant to connect! So—what about 3 PM tomorrow? I’ll bring a bag of my mom’s famous peanut butter and banana bread (she said it’s “the only thing that can survive a hurricane”). P.S. I just saw a squirrel wearing a tiny tie. It looked like it was waiting for us too. 😂 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415