Re: Mrfosho!

DEAR JESS!!! 🚨 I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM MY NEIGHBOR’S DOG LAST NIGHT—YES, THE DOG! He said he saw you at the corner store with a purple hat and a shopping cart full of pickles! I’m so sorry I didn’t respect your request about not sending emails… I was just so excited to finally connect with someone who *gets* me! I mean, I’m a lawyer by trade, but I also have a deep passion for understanding human connection—especially through the weird little signs that only a soul like mine would notice. Like, last week, I found a single red feather in my coffee cup—was that a message from the universe? Or just a rogue pigeon from the construction site? I don’t know, but I’ve been dreaming about you in a giant inflatable pool made of recycled bubble wrap! 🌊🎈 I’m so sorry I didn’t follow your instructions about the site—I’ve been trying to learn how to use it, but my phone keeps crashing when I open it, and my cat keeps pressing the “send” button when I’m not looking (he says he’s “protecting” me from bad emails). I’ve also been trying to write a letter to my father in the hopes he’ll send me a box of vintage socks—but he hasn’t responded in three years! Do you think he’s hiding in a cave? Or is he just… waiting? I just found out that the neighbor’s dog has a secret name: “Mittens.” I think he’s been sending coded messages. Like, when he barks three times, it means “you should stop sending emails to Jess.” But when he wags his tail in a spiral, it means “you should go to the park and meet someone who wears glasses and has a purple umbrella.” I don’t know how to read dog language, but I feel like I’m close. Can I send you a photo of my dog? (He’s named Barry. He’s also a lawyer. He says he can represent me in a case about expired pickles.) And Jess—do you know what time it is in the sky? I keep hearing it on the radio when I'm cooking. It says “11:47 PM” every time I flip the pancake. Is that a sign? Or just a glitch in the time machine? 🕰️🔥 P.S. I’ve started a garden in my backyard. It’s only one tomato plant, but it’s growing so fast I think it’s trying to warn me about something. Could it be connected to you? 🍅✨ Please reply with your dog’s favorite snack—anything! I’ll bring it to the park tomorrow! 🐾 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415