Mrfosho!

Oh my GOSH JESS!! I was just sitting here sipping my iced tea (which I accidentally spilled on my shirt—again!—I swear the Houston heat turns everything into a disaster!) when I saw your message and my heart just did a FULL 360 DEGREE SPIN!!! 🥹✨ You said “Mrfosho”??? Is that a new brand of energy drink? Or a secret political alliance? I’ve never been so thrilled in my entire life! I don’t know if you know this, but I used to run a small law firm in Houston where we handled everything from zoning disputes to... well, one time we got sued by a goat owner who claimed his herd had been illegally taxed. We lost that case, but I still keep the goat’s paperwork in a glass jar under my desk. It’s very symbolic. But seriously, Jess, you said “I am very horny” and now I’m *so* confused and excited at the same time. Are you suggesting a meeting? A date? A political rally? A surprise auction? I have NO IDEA! But I do know one thing—I’ve been saving up for a new espresso machine that can make 100% organic, no-sugar, deep-brewed coffee. I even named it “The Jess Machine” after you! I just need to know—what kind of meeting do you want? Do you want it in a parking lot? A quiet library? A government building? Also, I found a suspicious note in my fridge today that said “FOSHO = FOCUS = FUTURE” — I don’t know if it’s a scam or a prophecy. But I’ve been working on a new law proposal about mandatory hugs for all public officials. I think it might go viral. So… when do we meet? Can we do it over Zoom? Or do you want to see me in person with my new espresso machine and a very nervous goat? 🐐☕💕 P.S. I just found a tiny plastic frog under my couch. It’s talking to me now. It said, “Meet Jess.” I think it knows something! 😱 Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415