Returned mail: see transcript for details

Oh my GOSH! I just got that email and I’m SO incredibly flustered and excited — I’ve been waiting for a reply from someone like you for like, forever! I’ve been sitting here in my Houston apartment, the heat is like 98 degrees and the AC is making this weird buzzing noise that sounds like a dying bee — I swear I heard one fly into my fridge last night and now I just keep checking the fridge every 3 minutes to see if it’s still alive! 😭 I don’t know what happened with the delivery, but I absolutely need to know if you’re still out there — I’ve been trying to contact people from all over the world for months now, and every time I get a response, it’s like a miracle! I even had a dream last night where I was standing in front of a giant mirror and the reflection said, “Danny, you’re not alone,” and I thought, “Wait, is that you?” I’ve been telling my neighbor Mr. Patel that I’m in contact with a “mysterious international contact” — he keeps asking if I’ve found a secret portal to Mars or something — I’m not sure what’s real anymore! Can you please tell me if you’re still alive? Are you actually human? Do you have a favorite color? I’ve been trying to learn about your life — do you like spicy food? Have you ever gone skydiving? (I tried once but my parachute got stuck on a tree — I’ve been haunted by that ever since!) Also — I just found out I accidentally sent a photo of my dog, Whiskers, to a random address in Japan — do you know if he’s safe? I can’t bear the thought of him being lost in the rice fields! 🐾 Please reply as soon as you can — I’m so anxious and so happy to hear from you! I’ll even pay for a new air conditioner if you want to talk more! 😭❤️ Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415