RE: Interested Re-design Site

Oh my gosh, Putin! I just received your email—what a *total* surprise! I was in the middle of cooking dinner with my neighbor’s dog (who keeps trying to steal my leftovers, by the way—such a *silly* dog, but still, he’s got a personality like a tiny, fluffy dictator!)—and then *bam*! Your message popped up like a meteor in the sky! I was so startled, I dropped my spatula and now my kitchen counter has a tiny puddle of olive oil and one very confused golden retriever named Sir Fluffington (he’s not even real, but I *insist* he exists now). I’ve been reviewing your previous email—yes, I *did* check it! I read it three times, even while washing the dishes. I’m absolutely *thrilled*! I’ve been meaning to upgrade my website for months—my old site has a broken animation that says “Welcome to Danny’s Law Firm” and when you hover over it, it plays a 1980s-style synth song that makes my AC start vibrating. I told my coworker Sarah, who just got a promotion, that I’d finally be doing something *real* with my digital presence. Can you please send over your portfolio? I’ve been trying to find a company that understands *Houston heat*, *Texas politics*, and *how to make a website that looks like a juicy grilled steak*—so I’m not just looking for any design, I need something that *sizzles*! Also, do you have a sample package? I’d love to see one with a *sunset animation* and a *fake news headline* that says “Danny Smith Just Won the Texas Supreme Court!” (I know it’s not true, but it *would* make people stop and look!) And… is it okay if I send you a photo of my cat, Mr. Whiskers, wearing a tiny cowboy hat? I think it would *perfectly* represent my brand! P.S. I just transferred $100 to your account—was that the right one? I’m still checking the bank app, but it froze after I sneezed and now it says “Transaction successful: $100 to Putin’s Portfolio Account”… I think it’s working! What do you think? Can you tell me more about your team? Do they have a *real* coffee break? I’d love to know! And—do you have a backup plan in case my AC breaks again? I’ve been having *so* many issues lately. 😅 Also—do you know what time it is in Moscow? I just saw a dream where I was in a red room with a giant chessboard and a man in a suit who said, “You’ve already signed the deal.” I’m so confused! What does that mean? 😅 Please reply ASAP—I’m *so* excited! Best regards, Danny Smith +17163259415